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Hate exercising? You’re definitely not alone. It seems that each year, millions of people around the country start off with good intentions, committing to an exercise plan, only to quit completely a few weeks later. Look, we understand, exercising is not easy. It’s hard work, but it’s hard work that’s really important for your health […]
Hate exercising? You’re definitely not alone.
It seems that each year, millions of people around the country start off with good intentions, committing to an exercise plan, only to quit completely a few weeks later.
Look, we understand, exercising is not easy. It’s hard work, but it’s hard work that’s really important for your health and overall well-being. And we want to make sure the next time you commit to an exercise plan, you STAY committed.
So, with that in mind, here are 4 tips that will help you stay fit, even when you hate exercise:
No one says you have to go to the gym 5 days a week and do circuit training. If you hate going to the gym, then find something you actually enjoy doing. Do you like swimming? Hiking? Kayaking? Dancing? Playing basketball? There are PLENTY of ways you can get your body moving, condition your heart while building some lean muscle. Find something you love to do and you’ll actually do it more.
The science is out and it says that it takes roughly 30 days for a human being to form a new habit. So you can expect that days 1-29 are going to be challenging to ensure you work out. That’s okay. Just be sure to give yourself adequate time to allow this new habit to form. If you do, you’ll find it does indeed get easier to incorporate exercise into your life.
Some people will swear until they are blue in the face that “they just don’t have time for exercising.” Well, you can easily make time if you build exercise into your life. For instance, if you try and spend time with the family each day, why not get the family to go on a family bike ride after dinner?
If you need to spend an hour each day reading through student papers, why not read through them while on the stationary bike? There are ways you can kill 2 birds with one proverbial stone, so look for ways to do it in your own life.
Too many people make HUGE goals that are simply unrealistic. For example, someone may make a goal to lose 40 pounds in 3 months. Well, that’s not only unrealistic, but it’s also not even healthy.
Someone else may have a goal of running a marathon in 3 months. Well, if you’ve never run a day in your life, that’s also not very realistic.
When starting out, set small goals that you can easily achieve. As an example, your first goal may be to consistently swim for half an hour, three days a week for one month. That’s very doable. And when you reach a goal, it gives you confidence in your abilities and energy to keep going and reach even more goals.
If you follow these 4 tips, you will be able to stick to an exercise plan and see positive results from your efforts. Who knows? You may even learn to LIKE exercising.
SOURCES:
Human beings have a need for social connection. It stems from our ancestors needing to stick together to stay alive. Back in the day, those individuals who strayed from the group had a harder time surviving the elements and not starving to death. While it is far safer to be an individual these days, that […]
Human beings have a need for social connection. It stems from our ancestors needing to stick together to stay alive. Back in the day, those individuals who strayed from the group had a harder time surviving the elements and not starving to death.
While it is far safer to be an individual these days, that doesn’t mean it is healthy for us to be isolated, for isolation undoubtedly threatens a person’s mental well-being.
It is for this very reason that people suffering from depression and other mental health issues need the love and encouragement from a support network
When a person suffers from depression, they live with a constant pit of despair at their side. Every moment hurts and the truth about life remains elusive.
When we feel these dark feelings, there is a natural tendency to retreat and isolate ourselves. But this only makes the dark darker.
Recovery from depression is a complex process but you don’t need to go it alone. By surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones, you can continue to feel genuine connections, and each one of those connections is a light that can pierce through the darkness.
Research suggests there is a definite link between social relationships and many different aspects of a person’s mental health and wellness. It is for this reason that mental health professionals often discuss the importance of having a strong social network.
Social support comes in many different forms. Sometimes you might need help with daily tasks if you are struggling with depression. Sometimes you may need an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes you may need some sound advice.
Whatever you may be going through and whatever kind of help you need, here are some ways you can build a support network of people that love and care about you.
1. Create a List
Make a shortlist of friends and family members who have shown their love, kindness, and support in the past.
2. Make a Commitment
Commit to reaching out to someone on your list every week (if not more). You can do this through a phone call, text, email, or in person.
3. Be Honest
The people that love you can only help and support you if you are honest with them. When you reach out, share what is on your mind and heart. Talk openly about any struggles you are dealing with and be sure to be open to any fresh perspective or advice.
4. Get Out – When Possible
With COVID still affecting our lives, it’s not always easy to get out and be social in person but doing so is remarkably helpful and healing for our mental health. Phone calls and emails work in a pinch, but nothing beats spending time with loved ones in person.
It’s also important to mention that sometimes we need a bit more help than our loved ones can give. If, after forming your support network, you feel that you need additional help, it’s vital you reach out to a mental health specialist. He or she can give you tools and strategies that will help you recover from depression.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
SOURCES:
Having a baby is an event that typically brings a lot of joy and excitement for couples. However, roughly 60% of new mothers suffer from postpartum depression (PPD), with symptoms being either moderate or severe. Fortunately, PPD is a common health issue with much discussion and content outlining the symptoms and treatment. What’s not commonly […]
Having a baby is an event that typically brings a lot of joy and excitement for couples. However, roughly 60% of new mothers suffer from postpartum depression (PPD), with symptoms being either moderate or severe. Fortunately, PPD is a common health issue with much discussion and content outlining the symptoms and treatment.
What’s not commonly discussed is that new fathers can absolutely suffer from depression as well. While this depression is usually caused by stress and lack of sleep, and not hormonal shifts, the fact remains that men can and do suffer from PPD. In fact, according to the JAMA Network, roughly 10% of new fathers suffer from PPD.
Other research by APA has also shown that a “similar proportion” of new fathers experience some form of depression after childbirth. Since the frequency of depression is fairly similar between new mothers and new fathers, PPD can no longer be viewed as a woman’s issue.
Because of these recent findings, researchers are now recommending that both new mothers AND new fathers (or expectant mothers and fathers) get regular screenings for signs of depression. This is especially important in new mothers and fathers with a history of mental health issues in their own past, or in their family lineage.
A study out of the University of Nevada, Las Vegas published in the Journal of Family Issues found there were a handful of common causes of PPD in new fathers:
Fathers simply didn’t know they could suffer from PPD and so ignored any symptoms they were experiencing, instead of focusing on supporting their partner.
Gender Expectations
Many men feel the need to be “manly” and act like a “tough guy” that isn’t bothered by emotions.
Repressed Feelings
Men are often reluctant to share their feelings, let alone seek help because of them.
With these new findings, hopefully, more men will pay attention to how they are feeling and seek help should they feel depression creeping on.
If you or a loved one are a new father that is suffering from PPD and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
While there are many surprises and challenges that await you in motherhood, one of the biggest shocks may be time management, or the feeling of being overwhelmed. No matter how happy and fulfilled you may be as a new mom, if you don’t take time out of your busy day to take care of yourself, […]
While there are many surprises and challenges that await you in motherhood, one of the biggest shocks may be time management, or the feeling of being overwhelmed. No matter how happy and fulfilled you may be as a new mom, if you don’t take time out of your busy day to take care of yourself, you’re not giving your precious baby your best self. Ensuring that you practice self-care might seem like the lowest of your priorities, but being rested and cared for yourself is an essential part of being a mom.
While it will be challenging, it’s not impossible to make sure you take care of you. Below are some pointers that can help.
Get Your Sleep
While sleeping for a solid chunk of time may be a pipe dream for some, sleeping when your baby sleeps will allow you to get that much needed rest. If you’re worried that you won’t wake to baby’s cries, keep a baby monitor on your nightstand or bring the crib into your bedroom. Ignore the temptation to do chores while your baby sleeps, because it’s vital that you get your rest.
Stay Well Dressed
While it’s tempting to wear your maternity clothes out of convenience and to save money, it will help you feel your best to have comfortable clothes that fit. Get a couple of outfits in your size to wear until you get back to your pre-baby weight.
Make Time to Shower
If you neglect the simple routine of taking a shower, it will take a toll on your mental health. To make sure you shower regularly, try taking a shower when someone is home. You can also bring your baby in the bathroom with you, or take a quick shower while the baby is napping.
Accept Help
Regardless if you’re single or have a partner, trying to go it alone in caring for your baby is a big mistake. You may hate to ask for or accept help, but raising a baby is a lot of work. By recruiting help, you can make sure you have enough time to not only take care of the baby, but to take care of yourself. To try and do it all yourself does nothing but put unrealistic expectations on you, giving you feelings of guilt when you’re unable to accomplish the impossible. It’s important to ask for and accept help.
Make sure your partner is making an equal effort when it comes to baby’s care, and enlist the help of family and friends. If you have a friend that loves to cook, see if they’ll cook you an occasional meal. You might also ask for help with laundry, running errands, or babysitting (even if it’s just half an hour so you can take a long hot shower.)
Are you a new mom looking for parenting support and guidance? A licensed professional therapist can help. Call my office at your earliest convenience, and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.
The birth of a new baby brings joy and wonder into our lives. But for many women, the first days and weeks after delivery are mentally and emotionally challenging. This is a result of the massive hormonal changes her body is going through. On top of these extreme hormonal shifts, there is the serious sleep […]
The birth of a new baby brings joy and wonder into our lives. But for many women, the first days and weeks after delivery are mentally and emotionally challenging. This is a result of the massive hormonal changes her body is going through.
On top of these extreme hormonal shifts, there is the serious sleep deprivation and the cultural expectations new mothers feel to instantly bond with their babies and be “good enough.” All of this pressure can lead to some pretty difficult emotions.
While a majority of women experience a mild depression, called the “baby blues,” roughly 5% of women will suffer a major depressive episode that can be accompanied by severe anxiety and even panic attacks.
Are you wondering if your partner is suffering from postpartum depression? Here are 5 signs to watch for:
1. She’s Feeling Guilty
Does she often mention her feelings of guilt about not doing a better job? Is she putting too much pressure on herself to be perfect right out of the gate?
2. She Finds Little Comfort in Reassurance
It’s natural for a new mother to feel a bit anxious about the job she’s doing. But with post-partum depression, the anxiety can feel overwhelming, and even gentle reassurances from partners, parents and other loved ones bring little relief. In fact, some women even feel they are being lied to or patronized.
3. She’s Losing Interest in Certain Things
Post-partum depression is like other forms of depression in that the person will lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. Your partner may no longer find the same things interesting or fun. She may also lose her appetite and interest in sex.
4. She Doesn’t Want to be Around the Baby
It’s normal for a new mother to want others to help her care for the baby in those first few weeks. But when a new mother shows no interest in her baby and refuses to spend time with them, that is a sign that something more serious is going on. While it is hard to imagine, post-partum depression can cause women to feel no affection, and at times, even disdain, for their own baby.
5. Thoughts of Harming Herself or the Baby
If your partner mentions that you and the baby would be better off without her, or that she feels there is something very wrong with the baby, these are signs that must be taken seriously and immediately acted upon. According to studies, suicide is the second leading cause of death in postpartum women.
If your partner is showing one or more of these signs, it’s important to get her help. A therapist may prescribe medication and offer tools and techniques that will help her manage her symptoms.
If you or someone you know would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
When you first fell in love, you could never imagine that someday the sound of your partner chewing could make you want to scream. It’s inevitable that once we are out of our honeymoon phase and reality sets in, we realize that all relationships take work and compromise. But while some couples may hit bumps […]
When you first fell in love, you could never imagine that someday the sound of your partner chewing could make you want to scream. It’s inevitable that once we are out of our honeymoon phase and reality sets in, we realize that all relationships take work and compromise. But while some couples may hit bumps in the road every so often, other couples find themselves in bigger trouble, with neither party knowing exactly how to fix things.
If you are in a relationship that is no longer feeling healthy, here are 5 warning signs that it may be time to try couples counseling:
Once you have a communication breakdown, you are unable to rationally share thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other. Beyond this, unhealthy communication tends to leave one or both partners feeling depressed, angry and hopeless.
When there has been infidelity, it is very difficult for the couple to rebuild trust and repair the damage. While there is no magic pill to recover from an affair, a therapist can offer tools and strategies to rebuild trust.
If you and your partner act more like roommates than romantic partners, this indicates a lack of intimacy and a potential need for professional help.
You try to mask your real feelings for as long as possible, but then you start to act out the hurt and resentment you may be feeling. For instance, if your partner has been unfaithful and you have agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out. But over time you find yourself lashing out, acting rude and trying to make them believe you are having an affair so they will feel the same kind of hurt. This acting out is unhealthy for both people and is a BIG indicator you need to seek some help.
A break from negative energy can be very helpful to the relationship. But when a temporary break leads to more and more time away from home and someone renting their own apartment, this indicates a need for counseling. Spending time away from home usually doesn’t lead to any real resolution, just more distance.
If you and your partner are interested in exploring treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
No one ever wants to be on the receiving end of romantic betrayal. The emotional pain of discovering that someone you love and trust has been cheating and lying to you can be overwhelming. When you are the victim of massive deception and betrayal, it can leave you feeling sadness, confusion, resentment, and anger. Many […]
No one ever wants to be on the receiving end of romantic betrayal. The emotional pain of discovering that someone you love and trust has been cheating and lying to you can be overwhelming.
When you are the victim of massive deception and betrayal, it can leave you feeling sadness, confusion, resentment, and anger. Many victims also feel an increase in their anxiety and a decrease in their self-esteem. But infidelity doesn’t just affect our emotional health, it also affects our mental health.
In fact, many victims of infidelity experience the same symptoms that are linked to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), becoming totally disoriented and confused as to what has happened to them.
Some of the classic symptoms of PTSD often experienced by those whose partners have cheated on them are:
If you have been the victim of infidelity, then know that you, like a soldier returning from war, have been psychologically injured and you require tender care to set you on the path back to you.
As devastating as it can be to learn that your significant other has betrayed you in such an intimate way, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can pick up the pieces of your life and find joy and comfort once again.
Here are some ways you can begin to heal after infidelity:
Don’t fall into the “I should have known…” trap. This is not your fault. Now is the time to be on your own side.
Your emotions will be overwhelming for a little while. You will feel lost, anxious and panicky. When these feelings start to rise, STOP, take a slow deep breath and let it out. Take another one and another one. It is amazing how deep breathing can completely calm us almost instantly. Your breath will become your new best friend.
Remember, you’re not just healing from infidelity, you are healing from the PTSD that the infidelity caused. You will need some professional guidance to help you cope with the symptoms you are currently experiencing.
If you would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey to becoming whole and happy once again.
You may remember growing up, meeting your best friend on the playground or making friends in French class. As adults, we don’t have systems built in to make friends like we did as children. We can’t even reach out to loved ones for help, because while it’s socially acceptable to say “I’m looking for a […]
You may remember growing up, meeting your best friend on the playground or making friends in French class. As adults, we don’t have systems built in to make friends like we did as children. We can’t even reach out to loved ones for help, because while it’s socially acceptable to say “I’m looking for a boyfriend”, its not socially acceptable to say “I’m looking for a best friend.” If you want to find a friend as an adult, it’s going to be a lot like finding a romantic partner.
Envision Your Friend
Think about what kind of person your friend would be. Think back to your childhood friends and what made them fun to hang out with. Should your friend be extroverted or introverted? Should they love the outdoors or be a movie buff? Look for qualities in your friend similar to the way you’d look for qualities in a partner.
Go Where Your Friend Would Be
Now that you know what kind of person your friend would be, think about what that person would be doing. Where are they on the weekends? Where do they shop or like to go out to eat? Go to those different places. If you’re an outdoorsy person and want an outdoor-loving friend, find outdoor meetups. Try a hiking or walking group, or sign up for a new fitness class. Keep in mind as you test the waters that you won’t find your friend on your first outing. Just as when you’re looking for a partner, it takes more than just one try. It will take a bit of time and searching.
The Big Ask
When you’re ready to ask out your potential new friend, a great way to get a “yes” is to invite them to a favorite, or to something new. For example, invite your friend to go watch your favorite sports team or over to your house to cook your favorite recipe. You can also invite them to play a new board game, or out to watch a new movie.
Stoke the Fire
You’ll need to nurture your budding friendship by spending more time together. Just as in dating, take it slow and steady, and don’t take anything too seriously at first. Too much too fast could set you up for a friendship that’s not going to work, or might make the other person feel smothered.
You can deepen the friendship by working on goals together. Find out what your friend dreams about. How can you help them meet their goals? How can they help you with yours? Maybe they can help you get ready for a summer swimsuit, and maybe you can help them organize their garage. Find ways to work on things together.
Do you find yourself struggling in social situations? A licensed therapist can help you overcome shyness and improve your social interactions. Give my office a call today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.
You probably remember a time in school or out shopping when you wanted to ask for help, but stopped yourself. You might have even had a prompt from the teacher: “Does anyone have any questions?” or from an associate “Is there something I can help you with?”. Still, even when it’s their job (or their […]
You probably remember a time in school or out shopping when you wanted to ask for help, but stopped yourself. You might have even had a prompt from the teacher: “Does anyone have any questions?” or from an associate “Is there something I can help you with?”. Still, even when it’s their job (or their joy) to help, you might hesitate.
It can be even more difficult when you’re going through difficult times and can really use another set of eyes or hands. If you’re overwhelmed with work and home life, or if you’re going through some tough emotional business, sometimes you just need someone to help.
If you look back to your past, you might see where the roots formed that made it more difficult for you to ask for help. Your parents might have made you learn to figure things out on your own, then given you great praise when you did. As a child, you may have been met with resistance or anger when you reached out for help. Maybe you had a parent who modeled the “do it yourself” attitude, always refusing to ask for help. These early formative experiences can leave you with the impression that asking for a help is a deficiency. You might also have difficulty asking for help because you don’t want to surrender control to an outside person, or because you don’t want to feel like you “owe” anyone anything.
If you have difficulty asking for help, you may have learned some less than optimal coping mechanisms over the years. You might try to make someone feel guilty or feel sorry for you. Or in your haste, you may ask the wrong person; instead of someone who would be better able to help you, you choose someone who’s more likely to say yes.
Are you having trouble juggling work and home life? Are you struggling to deal with some tough emotions and need some support? A licensed therapist can help. Please give my office a call today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.
Being a new mom can cause you to go through a rollercoaster of emotions. You might feel overwhelmed with love or bliss, or you might feel panicky or anxious about your responsibilities as a new mother. It’s natural to feel a variety of both positive and negative emotions, given the dramatic hormonal changes that occur […]
Being a new mom can cause you to go through a rollercoaster
of emotions. You might feel overwhelmed with love or bliss, or you might feel
panicky or anxious about your responsibilities as a new mother. It’s natural to
feel a variety of both positive and negative emotions, given the dramatic
hormonal changes that occur following childbirth. However, if you find that
your negative emotions are becoming unmanageable, and fear you might be
experiencing postpartum depression, here are five warning signs to look out
for.
Lack of Interest
Towards the Baby
If you’re suffering from postpartum depression, you may find
that your new role as a mother lacks joy. You may struggle to bond with your
baby, feel overwhelmed by your new responsibilities or overall feel a lack of
interest in your baby.
Lack of Concentration
Trouble focusing, difficulty making decisions or memory
problems are possible signs of postpartum depression.
Change in Eating or Sleeping
Habits
While it’s natural for eating and sleeping habits to change
when you’re a new mom, drastic changes are a sign that something may be wrong.
If you’re having difficulty falling or staying asleep, or are sleeping longer
than usual, this could be a sign of postpartum depression. Eating too much or
too little are other warning signs to look out for.
Feelings of Sadness
or Hopelessness
Hormonal changes after childbirth will naturally cause mood
swings that will differ from what you experienced before giving birth. However,
if you find yourself feeling excessively sad or experiencing feelings of
hopelessness, you may be suffering from postpartum depression.
Lack of Energy and
Motivation
Your newfound responsibilities as a mother will naturally
leave you tired, but overwhelming feelings of exhaustion are something to be concerned
about. If you find that you frequently lack energy or motivation, this is a
sign that you may be experiencing postpartum depression.
If these warning signs seem familiar, you should know that
you’re not alone: 1 in 9 new mothers has postpartum depression. Postpartum
depression is a serious health condition, but it can be treated.
Postpartum Psychosis
In rare cases, women can have postpartum psychosis;
experiencing symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions, obsessive or fearful
thoughts, deep paranoia or thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. If you’re
experiencing any of these symptoms, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
If you believe you’re struggling with postpartum depression,
a licensed therapist can help teach you strategies to manage your depression
and improve your mood. Give my office a call today, and let’s schedule a time
to talk.